What is a Life Worth?

Human trafficking still exists today all around the world in almost every country, including in your own city. There are about 27 million slaves today and the average slave is 14 years old. I know, this is extremely hard to imagine, let alone wrap your heart and mind around. It has taken me many years to truly engage with the reality of this darkness. In fact, I had to gather most of my courage in order to choose to truly engage and speak up about this great injustice. To follow up with action after I’ve said I will do something to help, no matter how small my role might be. As Edmund Burke said, “evil prospers when good men do nothing.” This quote resounds deeply in my heart each time I hear about how innocent women and children are being taken captive and are sold multiple times every night.

However, I know that light can overcome intense darkness and that I am to be a small, but strong light declaring freedom for the captives and justice for those who have taken advantage of innocent women and children.

There are many brave men and women who are doing the hard, hard work of protecting, rescuing, restoring, and helping to reintegrate rescued women and children to start new lives. Although I haven’t personally been called to be on the front lines yet, I can do my part. I can continue to speak up for the ones who are stuck in very unjust situations and I can use my talents to help in any way that I can. I agree with Desmond Tutu, “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.” Friends, let’s not stand by and do nothing, engage your whole self and do your part in creating a world where good triumphs over evil.

One of the ways I have chosen to take a stand is to partner with the various organizations that fight human trafficking and raise money to fund programs that help rehabilitate the enslaved back into society.

What better day than today to take hold of the reigns of courage and allow yourself to fully engage your heart, mind, talents, and some time into creating a world where good will triumph over evil each small act at a time?  Do you hope to see the end of human trafficking within our lifetime? To say through our actions that we will not continue to look the other way, but instead, with our lives we will labor for those who are suffering and help them to start anew.

If you would like more information I have included some resources below and you can always ask me for more information or to know more!

I have chosen to partner with She’s Worth It. Check out their website at: http://shesworthit.org/. Through She’s Worth It, I am able to fundraise for those courageous women and men fighting at the front lines of injustice, so that I can take a little bit of the burden off of their shoulders and allow them to not worry about funding.

The She’s Worth It campaign is calling people to gather at least 10 other people in their lives to share about human trafficking and to give just $10 to an organization that is doing effective work against trafficking. The average slave is sold for only $90, crazy I know, just $90. By each person gathering at least 10 people to give $10, we are collectively each raising over $100 and saying that she IS WORTH IT!!!

Please join us today and use your voice to declare freedom for the captives! Take a look at the She’s Worth It website and the She’s Worth It Facebook page. Here is a link to my specific giving team: She's Worth It Giving Page.

Here are a couple of organizations we are specifically helping: 

The Indian Rescue Mission (http://www.indianrescuemission.org/) is fighting for justice also, just this week they partnered with local police in India to rescue 25 girls from a brothel!

The Klein Frank Foundation (http://www.init2endit.com/) is led by two passionate lawyers who have written powerful laws against human trafficking in the U.S. and in many other countries.

Not For Sale (http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/) is another organization working hard to bring awareness and action to this issue.

Stephanie Zeller is the Community Director for The Authenticity Project, you can contact Steph at TheAuthenticityProject@gmail.com.

Soul Renewal

Spring is a time of renewal. Birds return with songs of mirth for coming warmth, flowers bloom anew with the silent beauty and grace that only they can, and men and women alike make a sort of “spring-time resolution” where spray tans and gym memberships become more “natural” than the daily ‘triple mocha Frappuccino’. Though becoming a “12” while spray tanning may be a form of renewal and important to some, my Scandinavian complexion and general negative disposition towards spray tanning lead me to the actual point of my article; it’s time for some good old fashioned spring cleaning of our souls.

The fact is we all have some skeletons in our closets. We all have baggage in our lives that can keep us from living lives that are truly authentic and true to whom we are. Quite often, our skeletons are the very things that keep us from connecting with others or even pursuing our dreams and passions. And if you think that searching out those skeletons is difficult and a little scary…you’re right! It seems, as Americans, we hate to be seen as weak. We hate to seek help and ask advice as much as possible because we are told from the time we’re young to be strong individuals and to attain the “American Dream” and to do that, we need to essentially be alone. Who wants to live like that?!? So I would like to offer a challenge to anyone daring to oust those skeletons from their closet; Tell Someone About Them!

So, like everyone else, I have my own skeletons in the closet. I tend to hang them up again and revisit them like a rain jacket every time I experience my emotions like a typical Seattle downpour. In fact, I have a lot of skeletons. Mine tend to take the shape of uncertainty and self-doubt. Why would I tell you this? Well, I’ve been trying to oust my skeletons for many years and in the spirit of renewal and authenticity want to let you know that it’s okay to seek help from someone that’s not YOU.

I started going to counseling when I was in college. I often thought of myself as someone who was generally unlovable and undesirable when it came to having friends and a significant other. Past experiences (despite having an amazing and loving family) “taught” me to be an outsider, even though to everyone else in my life I wasn’t a failure, I wasn’t on the outside, I wasn’t a bad person! I had friends and I had people in my life that genuinely cared for me and wanted me to be a part of their lives. When you bottle up emotions and never tell anyone what you’re feeling you begin to believe the thoughts in your head that you are alone and undesirable and when I began to realize this I sought help. Sometimes it is helpful talking to a close friend or mentor and that’s totally fine; I however, needed to talk to someone outside of my circle of friends and family and it’s made all the difference in the world!

Even though nowadays I feel like a lot of my issues have been worked through, I’m still in counseling. Not so much because I still feel the insecurities that I once did but more so because I’ve come to realize over the years how important it is to talk and live in community with others even when I’m feeling unlovable  or am trapped in my beliefs of self-doubt or uncertainty. We need a renewal of our souls and I believe it starts with being willing to open ourselves up to others and willing to expose our insecurities to others. Though I am extremely blessed to be married to a loving wife and being the son and brother I am to the members of my family, I am extremely blessed and grateful to have someone else to talk to that helps me understand who I am and helps me process through my negative or even positive experiences and dreams.

This brings me back to my original statement; spring is a time of renewal. It’s also a great time to make new decisions, like resolutions, but something that we’ll actually follow through with! I challenge us to take those steps to renew our souls and share our hopes and dreams and fears with others (close to us or an outside perspective) so we can start to live as the people we were meant to be; people of authenticity!

Nick Anderson is a Guest Writer for The Authenticity Project, you can contact Nick at TheAuthenticityProject@gmail.com.

What's Behind Closet Door #1?

I think there are three approaches to Spring Cleaning: 1. Looking forward to it with anticipation, 2. Dreading it like the plague, or 3. Ignore it completely. I happen to fall into the category where I can’t wait for a warm day to tackle the chaos in that stuffed closet and the sweet satisfaction of slumping down in a chair at the end of the day with neatly packed shelves, nothing falling on you when you ease open the door and a whole pile of garbage and give-away. There’s something refreshing in the revived newness.

Do you know where the tradition of “Spring Cleaning” came from? The first homes had to be sealed tight to ward off the cold winters and the only source of heat and light in those dark months was coal, oil and wood. After a long winter of burning those for sustenance things in the house were looking a bit black with the layers of soot, ashes and wax. The sweet sun of springtime would break through and the family would haul out all of the furniture, clothing and everything else and then, together, would scrub that house sparkling clean again[1].

As we begin this “Spring Cleaning” journey this month at The Authenticity Project - this inward-looking at what might need dusting off, throwing away or giving away in order to free yourself to dream big and step forward without dragging the setbacks of the past along with you - keep these few things in mind:

• What camp do you find yourself in? Looking forward to a fresh sprucing-up? Don’t want to even open that ‘closet door’ for the flood of stuff that will cascade out, or so terrified you’ll pretend there’s nothing behind the ‘closet door’?
• It’s going to take some serious work. Cleaning out the a messy closet is demanding and causes you to sweat, and scrub and stick to it with determined endurance until every pile is sorted, stacked, scrubbed. But internal scrubbing might encounter emotions and memories that are thick as molasses to trudge through, but it’s also amazing when after that hard work you step back with a fresh perspective and a little more peace than before.
• Let’s take a hint from our ancestors, they cleaned the entire house together, so who are you going to invite into this journey with you? Having support is essential!

This process takes courage. Courage to start, courage to be present throughout and courage to realize what you just don’t need to carry around anymore. And don’t worry; we will be with you each step of the way as we turn to our own dust-bunnies that need some attention!

-Jennifer Anderson is Content Director of The Authenticity Project, you can contact Jennifer at TheAuthenticityProject@gmail.com.

[1] Taken from the infographic: “Personal and Financial Benefits to Spring Cleaning”.

Spring Cleaning

Growing up I spent my summers in upstate New York at my grandparents’ cottage on Lake Champlain. One of the most vivid memories I have of those summer days was the large two-story shed/barn/boathouse/office/garage that my grandfather built. This building was the repository for everything great about my young summer years. The first floor was your basic workshop - rows of tools hung on the walls, lengths of ropes and chains hung in a back corner, cans of old paint stacked neatly under a well-lit workbench. Then you had all the fun stuff organized on shelves and hooks along the other wall: fishing poles, oars, BB guns, life jackets, tackle boxes, etc. This was the place you would start and end your days at my grandparents’ cottage. But with all the great stuff neatly organized and categorized on the first floor it was the "attic" that held the truly amazing stuff. It was our families historical treasure trove with boxes of old family photos, cracked leather suitcases full of old clothes, a coat rack with an odd assortment of hats from an old fedora to a sombrero with 'Mexico' stitched in gold on the front. An umbrella stand filled with canes that my grandfather had collected on his travels. Old fans, typewriters, and clocks that were taken out to the workshop to be fixed and ended up in 'repair limbo' in the attic for years. And tucked way back in the attic was my favorite place - a make-shift nest made from haphazardly stacked boxes and some old steamer trunks one of which contained a collection of old toys that once belonged to my uncles. I would sit in that corner for hours with sweat pouring down my face in that hot attic while my grandfather tinkered with a boat motor or the ever troublesome bird feeder that was continually ransacked by squirrels down at his workbench. When finished, he would call up the ladder and tell me to come down and I would maneuver my way through the labyrinth of old suitcases and boxes, hopping over some, crawling under others. See, that's what made my spot so great, I was the only one who knew the path through the maze to get into that back corner play area.

Years later, one of my last summers at the lake, my grandfather woke me up and told me that on the day's agenda was cleaning out and organizing the attic in the boathouse. Hours later the lawn was strewn with the contents of the attic, my grandmother milled around opening boxes, taking random things out to look at, throwing some things into a large trash bag she kept close at hand, reorganizing some things, repacking others and every now and then she would call me over and show me an old picture, or memento and then carefully put it back into the box. By dinner the whole attic had been emptied, swept, and the contents had been reorganized, neatly labeled, and stacked in the attic. No more maze, no more nest, no more hot summer days tucked in that timeless corner. I remember standing in the newly organized attic looking at all the boxes feeling a sense of loss, but also a feeling of accomplishment at completing such a monumental task. I was exhausted, sad, and proud all at the same time. 

While this is hardly a profound childhood story, it does illustrate the idea we at The Authenticity Project would like to focus on this month as we head into spring. The inevitable "spring cleaning" theme will be popping up everywhere from Good Housekeeping to the Today Show - helpful tips will be shared on how best to manage you time, life, and stuff to clear away the clutter and make those windows sparkle. But what if we could focus not only on cleaning up our physical living spaces, but also our hearts, souls and minds? An internal "spring cleaning" if you will. A chance to take all of the emotional clutter from the attic and spread it out on the front lawn to meander through, reminisce, and ultimately move on with a better understanding of what's boxed up that needs to be reorganized or thrown away entirely. This is no easy task - it's going to take commitment and most of all courage and we hope that some of the articles we will be posting here on the website, as well as some of the thoughts we'll be posting on our Facebook page, will help to encourage and help you through your own spring cleaning process. 

      “It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.”

 -Alan Cohen

Erik Ewing is the Program Director for The Authenticity Project, you can contact Erik at TheAuthenticityProject@gmail.com.

A Little February Love...

​When was the last time you said this to yourself? 

We’ve spent this month devoted to…ourselves! How conceited...or is it? We believe it is important to spread good and love to one another, but that love has to start with self-love. You have to believe you are worth receiving love in order to receive it from others. In case you’ve missed any of our conversations this month here’s a quick look at just where to start:

• Part of loving ourselves is remembering to search for beauty in all things.  
• Figuring out who you are and what you’re about – good and not-so-good - is a vital part of loving yourself.
• Just what is your potential? The answer could shock you!
• Loving yourself means having courage to take a bold step and believe in yourself: “Surround yourself with people who believe in you and will whisper those bold questions in your ear shutting down that doubt.”
• Envisioning a new ‘American Dream’: “No matter how long we are whipped by this work-horse of productivity and consumption, at some point we will be forced to ask the question: why should I live this way?”
• Dance like a kid again! “Although there is no “three-step program” to loving ourselves we can take wild steps of passion towards the freedom and joy of being content with who we are and towards truly loving ourselves.”
• Though following your dreams might make you stick out like crazy…it’s worth it to be true to you!
• Helpful tips for where to start when you feel totally lost in how to show yourself some love…
• Just what kind of conversations are you having with yourself? The kind that encourages or the kind that keeps you locked up in that closet of fear and shame? 

And don't forget - self-love isn't just for February! ​

Potential

I am a high school senior. I have not traveled the world. I have not met world leaders. I am not ‘read up’. Heck, I don’t even know what I want to do with my life yet! However, one thing I do know for sure—there is immense power in the self that I believe we all have.

February is extremely well known as the month of loving each other. What is not so well known is the importance of loving yourself. This sounds like a selfish, vain goal to strive for, but it is quite the opposite. I don’t think we can really truly serve others, care for others, and empower others until we see our own self-worth. Really, what if we loved ourselves?  Every person has potential—a renaissance-era idea, with a possible modern-day impact. The beauty of life is that we do not need to be perfect because when different talents are combined and UNIFIED, amazing things can happen.

Think about this: if every person, all 7,000,000,000+ people on this planet, identified their potential—his or her gift, and used it to brighten others - imagine the chain reaction! The global peace. The unity. The love. And it starts with loving yourself! Now, don’t worry, I already know I am an optimist. But negativity and doubt is the reason this kind of beauty can’t happen! So if we overcome the classic case of pessimism, we could take the first step. You could take the first step.

You have potential; do not let anyone tell you otherwise. It does not need to be external; I am a prime example of this! I am not a dancer. I am not a singer. I am not an artist. I am not an athlete. However, I am a server. Your potential can be as simple as that.

YOUR POTENTIAL.

Find it.

Capitalize on it.

Change the world.

Guest Post by Haden Whiting, High School Senior.  

We Need to Talk...

How do you love yourself?  Well, there is a question that is not easy to answer.  We all know that when we hear those three little words "I Love You" the hope is we feel a spark of warmth in our heart; however, is the feeling the same when you speak to yourself? Are you able to say "I Love You" to yourself? If you were to sit down with yourself, perhaps over a cup of coffee and a long conversation, could you really say "I love You"?

Imagine this with me for a moment: You sit across from yourself. The conversation begins and soon, you are sharing what is really on your heart. Imagine what you would say after listening to your story. The tricky part here is that you KNOW the whole story. There would be no editing of events. There would be no room to dazzle with bright tidbits of accomplishment because this time, those tidbits come with the full package. You would hear the failures, the mistakes, and see the possible places where a different choice could have been made.

So could you say it? Would you mean it?

Tough to openly and honestly answer that question. So what if I asked this from the other side of the question? Instead of offering love and acceptance, would you offer up doubt?

Would you begin your "advice" by listing those mistakes of the past? "You always do things like this, so what do you expect."  Perhaps you would be quick to say: "Well, that is just not how your life goes. It may work out for some people, but you just need to realize you are not those people.” Maybe you would tell yourself to put those dreams to rest: “Stop with this nonsense. You need to focus on reality and not what you wish things could be.” Would you be quick to list all the skills and abilities you don't have or enumerate the things you have not accomplished?

These types of statements often just spill out and the rest of society is quick to affirm those negative feelings in our head. I have to admit, the conversations I have with myself walk a fine line between encouraging balm for the soul and destructive splintering.

Even when we read those destructive thoughts, we all resonate on some level, and what equally resonates is our hunger for that feeling of contentment and love.  If we could give that to ourselves, even if it was only once in awhile, that would truly be fantastic.

Loving yourself is a difficult task. A daily task. And although I do not have one magic key, I do know it is possible to change those conversations with yourself, even if that means one less conversation that ends with doubt.  Just as we have to work on how we talk with others in all of our relationships, we have to make a conscious decision to dish out love instead of doubt in our own heart. I have learned that if the relationship with our self is broken, other relationships we have are facing an uphill battle. YOU have to come first.

So how do you love yourself?  Change the conversations you are having with yourself.

This year I have decided to change many things, but the most important thing I have been working on is how I talk to myself. That does not mean I have simply sugar-coated everything, but I realized that the self-talk had to shift towards the positive.  At my personal lowest point in the past two years, I started to reflect on the many people I knew who were living out their dreams boldly. As I began to listen to their journeys more intently, I realized that the people I admired most were telling themselves a very different story than I was speaking to my soul. And so I decided that these people were really the elders in my tribe, and it was time to listen to their wisdom. So here are five lessons in self-love that I have taken from these elders about the kind of conversations we should be having with ourselves...

1. Self talk must be about making the impossible into the possible.

The first thing I noticed was that theses elders spoke of living out those dreams in their head. No matter how insane others may think you are; those dreams ARE possible. It had worked with them, so I began to encourage my heart to dream, and dream BIG. I began to let my heart wander in the possible, and when that doubt would start to infuse the process, I simply took another step toward those dreams. I have found that even if those steps were very small, they add up! Many of the dreams have come true, and although others are still in process, I can say that they never would have happened if I had not let my heart wander and dream. You have to start somewhere, so tell yourself to dream. Oh the beauty that unfolds! Re-work the word impossible. Try using I'Mpossible and let that thought be yours.

2. Self Talk should be about accepting yourself where you are, always being thankful for what you DO have to offer.

 There are some incredible people in my life, but each of them have faults and they are very much human, but what sets them apart is the fact that they use every bit of talent in them - never getting stuck on the faults for long. They know that if they let fear and doubt take over, nothing is going to get done. The most beautiful talent is wasted in the muck of doubt. These people just keep putting themselves out there, never looking back for long. So I began to remind myself of the unique talents and gifts I have been given. I made myself look back over the things I had done, and funny, I began to see that nothing had been a total failure. Most of what I considered a failure had in fact been the exact thing needed to continue the shift forward. I also found that once I focused more on my current gifts and talents, I found many new ways to use those talents to make a difference. Let the faults go, you are so much more than that muck of self-doubt. Trust you are right where you need to be with just the right gifts, and speak those words to your heart.  Encouraging yourself is a great form of self love.

3. To have good thoughts, feed yourself positive in every way and every day.

Let me say that this step is critical. All the people I deeply admire feed on a virtual buffet of good. They make a conscious effort to spend time with motivating people. They read inspirational material that challenges them to higher ground. They watch movies and television programs that encourage and motivate. But, the key to this is that they take these steps to feed themselves good on a DAILY basis. Not once a week, not once a month, not just when the moment arose, but DAILY. It all affects the self-talk we will have, so why not give yourself good things to think about. I began to shift my intake of the friends I talked with, the thoughts of others I listened to, films I watched, and what I was reading. I want to fuel my motivation, not deplete it. I can't tell you what amazing things happen when you decide to only feed on the good. And don't be surprised if you begin meeting more incredible people, for the more you let the good in the more the good will find you. And most importantly, my thoughts were naturally turning more positive. With the positive in view, self-love gets a whole lot easier.

4. Remind yourself growth is the goal, not perfection.

The people who have been the most influential in my life truly know that we are always growing and changing. Growth is a part of life, and we have to see it ALL as growth. Perfection can never be the goal. At the end of the day, these people I admire were always looking for ways to grow from the day's events. "Perfect days" only came when they were content in their hearts, no outside event could bring this about. It has to be about growing, not arriving. Therefore, I have tried to encourage myself to grow. Mistakes will creep in, but growth is a choice. And it is not easy, but perfection will destroy your heart faster than anything else. So I ask myself "How is this helping me grow?" I changed the conversation in my head. Funny, now, how I love seeing where life will take me next, for I know with growth comes an ability to have a larger view of what is around you. Great stuff. Growth has to be the focus if we are ever to love ourselves.

 5. Don't go it alone.

The biggest mistake in trying to talk to ourselves is that we often get stuck in our heads turning thoughts over and over, and soon we are more lost than when we started. This is the hard one. Self-talk is an alone task, right? Well, at times, yes, but the beauty comes when we invite others to engage with us as we tromp through our thoughts. This is where good friends and family are invaluable. All the people I have ever admired have a team. Now this does not mean that everything is done with others, but having strong-hearted people who can come along side you is essential. They motivate us when we are wounded, direct us when we are blinded, and at the core, they teach us to see what is most lovable about ourselves. Consider it practice. Allowing others to love you when you don't necessarily feel lovable will strengthen your heart, so later when you are alone with those thoughts you will have experience to draw on of how that self-talk should make you feel. This is hard. Very hard, but this is the beauty in love, letting someone into your heart. Find a good "team", share your thoughts, and don't be afraid to add new people or to get rid of those that no longer fit as they once did.

Loving ourselves is one of the hardest tasks we face, and it is one task we have to "practice" daily to keep doubt away. Think through these steps, and as you do, try to love yourself more by shifting that conversation in your head. I challenge you to look at those you admire and pull from their journeys.  Circle up with the elders of wisdom in your life, maybe even find a few from the past, and then take that wisdom to heart and plant it in your head.  We are here to back you up any time that self-talk gets a little cloudy, and trust we are all right here practicing with you!

 You are loved!!

Heidi Rickard is the Creative Director for The Authenticity Project, you can contact Heidi at  TheAuthenticityProject@gmail.com.

The 'You' List

Self-love. We all are familiar with the term and the concept. "Be comfortable with who you are!" "Take care!" "Give yourself some TLC" - yet, I believe you can't truly love yourself without knowing yourself. You may know your resume quite well - you are a baker or doctor, or secretary or teacher. You excel at academics, or sports, or artistic pursuits. You even take those personality tests and identify as more organized, or extroverted. Analytic or more "right-brained", but do you really explore that? Or do you just nod your head in agreement because that's what others tell you? 

"You're so artistic and free-spirited!" which can easily ascend of pedestal of praise and begin to be the only way you define yourself, but do you also embrace your love of putting puzzles together - sitting solitary for hours working out the picture and piecing it together?  

I think sometimes it's easy to get stuck in "who I am" because we wear our so-called 'good' qualities as badges of honor for all to see. What about your forgetfulness? Or quick temper? Or lack of athletic ability amid a family of superstars? These are pieces that make you whole too! How do you embrace them as part of loving yourself? You need gentleness and forgiveness. Exploring those talents, habits and intricate pieces that perhaps you are quick to judge or wish to rid. They are still a part of you. And if you are authentically showing yourself some love, you have to also extend some grace, forgiveness and encouragement to those areas you feel are less than par.  

When I loath my quick temper and the hurtful words I can easily spew - I must own that part, extend an apology if possible and then extend forgiveness to myself. Yet, by acknowledging that aspect of myself I can also become aware that I can change and evolve. Next time my temper flares perhaps I'll be more in tune to wave the red flag of warning and work on those breathing exercises I learned in yoga. Or run to my journal and wrestle through my thoughts and reaction before I act. All because I was willing to embrace that as a part of me too. 

I ran across a blog the other day that is doing a series on asking yourself questions and writing down all the answers you can think of. For example: What Am I Grateful For? Don't just shrug and say: "I know what I'm grateful for - it's all in my head!" But penning those thoughts reveals more starkly just what your heart is made of. Plus, you have a record to continue to add to, reflect on and see how you continue to grow and change. I've listed some prompts below...so get your pen and write out the fabric of who you are...all of the ugly-beautiful mess that is humankind!

List of Greatest Comforts

List the Things You Should Be Proud Of

List your Current & Future Dreams/Goals

What Am I Grateful For?

The Ways I Can Love Myself (& Others!)*

*These prompts and the list idea was found on the blog: Ginger Al. Be inspired! 

-Jennifer Anderson is Content Director of The Authenticity Project, you can contact Jennifer at TheAuthenticityProject@gmail.com.

No One is You-er Than You

“Whatever you are doing, love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling, love yourself for feeling it.” –Thaddeus Golas

I think loving ourselves is one of our greatest challenges. We are our own biggest critics, we have lists of reasons why we aren’t what we want to be, and we “should” ourselves into guilt. “I should do this, I should do that, I should lose weight, I should work harder, etc”.

Many times when a loved one or I have been going through a difficult time, I tell them (or myself), “You just need to love yourself through it”. Now that I’ve sat down and mediated more on what self-love really means, I find myself eating my own words. What the heck did I mean? What does it mean to truly love ourselves?

Here are a few things I’ve discovered on my own journey, as well as observed or shared from other’s:

Love yourself better by….

1.      Forgiving yourself

Whatever is haunting you, whatever you are still holding against yourself, past or present, let it go and forgive yourself. You are the only one keeping you from moving on and loving yourself.

2.      Accepting yourself right here, right now

Not in two months after you’ve been going to the gym. Not at the end of the week after you cross off your to-do list. Meet yourself as you are, where you are. You are your most perfect you, right now.

3.      Not comparing yourself to others (!)

This is not a competition! You are good enough. Beautiful enough. Talented enough. Strong enough. It’s all there, hidden in your heart.  Comparing what other people look like, what they wear, what they’re doing, etc. can completely distract us from our own incredible journey of self-love and discovery.

4.      Keeping a healthy triangle

Try examining yourself in these 3 ways: spiritually, mentally, and physically. If each of these were a side of a triangle, how balanced would it be? Maybe one side is longer, or two are equal and one is short.

Spiritually- What speaks to you? Whether it is a religion, a school of thought, yoga classes, practicing tai chi, spending time outside- do it! Our energy eventually leaves the form we have now to become something else, so it’s important for us to understand our spiritual self and nourish it.

Mentally- Where are your thoughts at these days? Are you feeding it something wonderful? A good book, something inspiring?

Physically- Push aside any guilt or harsh criticisms you have here- turn it into something joyful. A walk. Bike ride. Hike. Swim. Move your body, release endorphins. It is, after all, your temple for this present life.

If we love ourselves on each of these levels, our happiness becomes our greatest strength.

I am by no means a perfect person who has it figured out, and am continuing my journey of self-love just the same as anyone else. But here’s what I think: your heart is beating for a reason. Cherish it. Love yourself. Be your best “you”, and we can make the world a more loving place. As cheesy as it sounds.

Jeanne Clark is a guest writer for The Authenticity Project. You can contact her at jmarieclark33@gmail.com.

Living the Crazy Life

“Happiness can exist only in acceptance”. – George Orwell

Think about the happiest moment of your life. Who were you with? What made you so happy? How long did that feeling last? The answers to these questions are different for everyone. However, it might be safe to say that no matter whom you are or what your experience was, you never get that same feeling of nirvana when you think back to it. Yeah, it will put a smile on your face, but the feeling that ran through your body in that moment is now only a memory.

These moments come and go in everyone’s life but they are not what make you happy as a person. Happiness comes with your acceptance of yourself.

How many times have you kept yourself from doing something that you really felt compelled to follow through with for the mere fact that you thought people would think differently of you? In essence, what you have just done is let someone else’s (possible) thoughts keep you from giving yourself a sense of happiness.

Love yourself. Accept yourself.

Push yourself to take that leap to learn about yourself and find out whom you are. Do not let the thoughts of what others might think hold you back. They might think you are insane, but who cares?

“Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination”. – Mark Twain

Be the daring person that your neighbor will talk about. In today’s society we can all be viewed as one of three things; unhappy, content or happy. If doing what you know will make you lead a happier life, makes you seem ridiculous to onlookers…then whatever you are doing is working.

Have you ever really seen someone in action doing what he or she truly loves? When someone like that grasps that moment and lets it engulf them, they really can look crazy with happiness, and I for one, wish that we all can live our lives feeling that same sense of insanity. Let go and love yourself. Love what makes you happy.

Never settle with being content when true happiness is within eyesight.

Ben Heydt is the Media Director for The Authenticity Project, you can contact Ben at 

TheAuthenticityProject@gmail.com.